Sometimes you just have those times

Dear Friend,

 

I hope this letter finds you well. I was taken back a couple of days ago, with memories of from freshman year, before my parents went through with their divorce. Before my dad had told me about this, I knew something was up. My parents just weren’t acting the same, I didn’t see the love in their eyes that used to reflect. I didn’t see the warm “hello, welcome back home kisses” or the way they said “I love you”, just for the heck of it. I knew something was up, so every time I felt like things were normal I would cherish that time like none other, I would tell myself that if I was able to “over-ride” my good thoughts with my bad reality (my parents fighting), I would be able to get through it all okay.

 

Throughout this divorce, I never thought like I was “old enough” to talk to my sister, who was a senior in high school. I mean after all I was the lame freshman sister. Before this divorce I wouldn’t really ever just sit down and talk to my sister seriously, let alone sit and cry with her. Despite our past relationship as siblings, we looked to each other for comfort, and just someone to spill our heart about this trial we were encountering. I mean yeah I had my friends to go to, but she was really the only person that knew what I was going through first hand. Over the course of that year, there were many times we would just lay on the floor in her room, and cry, laugh, and talk through this time. I can really say, that now my sister is one of my closest friends.

 

Having my sister there for me was great, I had always wondered what would I do when if she  weren’t able to be there for me whenever I needed her to be. Well I can definitely say I experienced that in august going into my sophomore year. She had gone away to college. I didn’t know what to do, I was so alone, yes I had my friends, but they weren’t the same, and I couldn’t just go to my mom and spill my heart out about it, when she was dealing with the whole situation as well, only with a whole different perspective about it. When my sister left, she said I could always go up and visit her and call her anytime, but in reality would I be able to run to her room in the middle of the night and sleep in her bed with her, and just cry? No, not at all. So that is when I turned to drinking and partying.  I did that over the first few months of my sophomore year, but I still felt this void In my life and in my heart. Luckily half way through my sophomore year, my friends took me aside and really questioned me. I knew something had to change, I knew there must have been something bigger out there. Slowly over the remaining year, I had stopped looking to substances to take away my pain, and re-devoted my life to God, and I can now say that was the best things that I could have done. Now I know that turning to a substance for fulfillment is not the answer. Only God is.  

 

I hope you found some good advice in here, I will be talking to you soon,

-Hulia